Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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