Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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