Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
