I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
