If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
