didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
