Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
