So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no you cant smoke seaweed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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