So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
