My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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