He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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