I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
