I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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