eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
