does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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