Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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