I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
