I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize