Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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