respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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