No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
