hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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