you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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