I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
