So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize