i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
