when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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