pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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