I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
where does the pee come out of this thing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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