I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
