I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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