gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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