nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
