how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
