farters have to be the big spoon...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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