I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
