Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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