Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
