so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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