My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
