I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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