Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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