Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
