my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize