When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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