Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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