What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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