I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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