I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
