Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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