as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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