redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
