Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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