erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I need moral support for this bender
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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