Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
