I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
