Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
