The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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