when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
