So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
