have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
They have beer where we have blood.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
