If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im holly from the hills drunk
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
