I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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