What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
