You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
