I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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