So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
