i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My breasts were aching with rage.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize