Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
