how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
